i know its my birthday in a few hours.
but i seriously need to let this out.
i dont wanna keep it in ever again.
can someone call me?
im really really down.
and need to cry out loud now.
i love sophie!
she listened to the whole story.
(:

this is everything i told her:
1) you know. my school gives bonus to me lar. coz my family big. then they pay like 25% of my sch fees. like some scholarship.then they take advantage of it by making me feel like beggars. begging for money.then they like pity us.like example.there's this course, its not complusory. then me and my frens dun wanna join.then the sch ask me why i nv join.izzit coz of financial problems? ITS LIKE OMGG OKAAY! the course is only 20 bucks. and the bonus is they wanna GIVE me.not i WANT.and i dun wanna join the stupid course coz i seriously cant be bothered. then i dun wanna join,they think i got money problems.like i feel super humiliated okay.
my mum said "we dont want their pity. we also not beggars needing to beg for money. we want dignity okay. and we're not considered poor at all." then they like always call me out of class come and find me.coz last year i got sports scholarship then i lost it. coz last yr's swim results no good. so dun have the sports scholarship so they give me this special bonus luh. so they wanna monitor my results and blah blah. then like my frens see also no good rite. everyday i follow one teacher go back to the office.
2)then my swim teacher want me get back the scholarship. so she's super biased towards me. everyday she scolds me. like purposely find fault. then when my whole swim team grumble. coz the coach give tough sets. she only scold me coz i grumble.its like. the others also grumble. but she scolds them whole, but scold me privately also.like always wanna see me and scold me.
then during napfa, she ask me go 1st shift for sit ups.coz she wan me go school training that day.then i went there.she told me to "wait wait wait wait."so i wait outside. then in 3rd shift, i went again. she scolded me "why you never report?"then she start scolding me coz i got attitude problem.then during sit-ups, my fingers were holding my ears then she keeeeeep saying im not holding!super biased okay.then she keep minusing the number of sit-ups i do.
3)then now some teacher. thinks i have depression.i feel so humiliated okaay. she thinks im very stressed up.im stressed up coz she keeps finding me to talk talk talk.and the teacher thinks im stressed coz i cry and cry when she come and talk to me. but its actually coz i hate them so much for giving me so much problems.and they keep stressing me.i feel so different from everyone else. then greg ask me bo chup. then they say i got attitude problem. its just that everytime they wanna see me i very bushuang.so they think i got attitude problem.
4)then you know in march, we had sec2 adventure camp.then i only went from 9-7 on the first day. then got sent back.coz of fever. then the sch said if have mc and didnt go for camp, they can refund me. then just becoz of this they wanna see me again and talk talk talk. ask wad happened during camp blah blah. and coz i WANTED to stay in camp.so they cannot refund me.and coz last time. i got so pissed with my teacher coz she keeeeeeeep asking me to go home when i wanna stay with my class in camp!then the trainer, also said i can stay and see if my fever dies down. but my teacher super naggy so i got super duper pissed with her. and my fever got higher and higher. and i showed some rudeness to my teacher.and coz im sick also wad. cannot blame rite.so they scold me coz of attitude prob again. then my mum was like "dont refund then dont lar." it seriously dosent matter whether they give back the 99bucks. but they keep stressing me for all these money things. i wanna tell them. that im seriously NOT NOT NOTT in financial difficultly.

i wanna be like everyone else.

and not to be seen like some beggar.

they wanna see me again this tuesday.

so im gonna tell them

shit. im cryingg.

you know i keep thinking about this sentence "i dun wanna be treated like beggars begging for money." then i cry and cry like crazyy.

sophie's so good.
she can go be counsellor.
ahahas.

SOPHIE:
tell them you wna be treated like the rest and you dont want any money back and you dont have money problems and you dont wna see their stupid faces anymore and ask them to stop bothering you and tell them you dont wna be picked on
you can tell them youre handling it alright and you dont need their help cos its more of stress than help.

and she said alot alot more.
but this post is getting really longg.
so its just that details thats here.
i wanna call gladys now!
coz she's a a good counsellor too!
but i scared later my mum suddenly come back.
then see me crying.
ahahas.